THE WORST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE I EVER GOT

The Best Way To Get Over Him Is To Get Under Someone Else

Bullshit. Yes. I said it.

This is by far the worst relationship advice I ever got. Mind you…the first time I heard it was in my Uni pub, where me and my friends were cramming for finals over warm beer and cold pizza, while listening to How’s It Gonna Be on repeat.

I had just broken up with my first college boyfriend. Actually come to think of it, we didn’t even break up. He just sort of disappeared and stopped calling. In short, I was ‘ghosted’ way before ghosting was even a thing.

I was blindsided. Heartbroken. And finally over the ‘but I will do anything to get him back’ phase of hanging outside his dorm endlessly, in the hopes of ‘accidentally’ bumping into him and making it look like happenstance.

Btw…it’s never happenstance when that happens, and they know it.

Any who…I can remember Chris saying to me while applying a very generous coat of Twig lipstick all over her already heavily Spice lined, lips “you know….the best way to get over a guy is to get under another one”

“Of course” I thought to myself. That’s genius. Why didn’t I think of that.

So that Saturday night at the bar, and after exams were finally done, I put on my favorite ‘napkin’ sized halter top, my boot cut jeans, and copious amounts of Calvin Klein, and went out in search of the next one to get under.

I didn’t know it then, but this was the beginning of what would be a very toxic relationship, with relationships. One that would lead to decades of pain and heartbreak, where each relationship would be more painful and more heartbreaking than the last.

If only I knew then what I know now.

Photo by Michael Discenza on Unsplash